- Pick an emotion to be your character’s default emotion.This will help color your character’s voice and make them more of a complete, congruent human being than a list of traits.
- Give them something you’re insecure about. This will be your character’s…
SHUT THE HELL UP AND STOP PUTTING ICE CUBES IN YOUR LEMONADE. YOU WANT FIX YOUR WATERY LEMONADE? ADMITTING THERE’S A PROBLEM IS THE FIRST STEP TO STOP BEING A PUSSY, AND MOVING ON TO BEING A MAJESTIC MOTHERFUCKER.
GET SOME FRUIT.
BLUEBERRIES, STRAWBERRIES, PEACHES, LEMONS, LIMES, FUCK I DON’T KNOW, MAYBE PAPAYA OR MANGO! GET YOUR ASS OUTSIDE AND PUNCH SOME BUSHES UNTIL IT CRIES FOR MERCY AND HANDS YOU YOUR GODDAMN FRUIT.
BERRIES YOU CAN JUST SHOVE INTO THE ICEBOX AND GO CONQUER A COUNTRY WHILE YOU WAIT A DAY FOR IT TO FREEZE.
PEACHES AND NECTARINES, FUCK, YOU CAN EAT THE DAMN SKIN ON THOSE! TAKE OUT THAT MACHETE YOU KEEP IN YOUR BACK POCKET, BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK KNOWS WHEN A DINOSAUR COULD COME KNOCKING AND MOTHERFUCKERS NEED TO BE PREPARED, THEN HACK THAT DELICIOUS MOTHERFUCKER INTO SLICES.
NOW PUT THOSE BEAUTIFUL FUCKERS IN YOUR FREEZER.
YOU’RE A CITRUS KINDA ASSHOLE?
TAKE THE SKIN OFF YOUR CITRUS AND RECYCLE THAT SHIT! SAVE THE WHALES, YOU HARCORE MOTHERFUCKER.
I BET YOU CAN SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING, WITH THE FREEZER.
WHEN YOUR FRUIT IS FROZEN, USE THEM INSTEAD OF ICE CUBES TO KEEP YOUR DRINK AS COLD AS A SNOWMAN’S FROSTY DICK, AND MAKE ALL YOUR FRIENDS OR MAYBE ONLY YOUR PETS SAY ‘WOW WHAT A CLASSY MOTHERFUCKER’
IF YOU’RE AN ALCOHOLIC TYPE OF SHITHEAD, YOU CAN PUT YOUR FROZEN-ASS FRUIT INTO RUM OR VODKA OR SOME SHIT.
NOT ONLY ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE A COLD, FLAVORED DRINK, BUT YOU’LL GET YOUR DAILY SERVINGS OF FRUIT. YOU SNEAKY LITTLE HEALTH-CONSCIOUS ASSHOLE.
TASTES LIKE GODDAMN VICTORY, THAT’S WHAT.
Everything about this post is perfect. Because growing up is for losers.
look at that guy on the left he is so photogenic i bet there is a stock photo of him laughing with a salad
fixed that for you
oh my god i found the post that started it all
oh my god my blog is now complete
Be kind to each other.
I tested Walmart’s brand of bottled water and I was shocked to see they sell the most toxic water ever. I tested for Total Dissolved Solids using a TDS meter and the number I got was 271. THAT IS THE MOST TOXIC WATER I HAVE EVER SEEN. Even NYC tap water TDS score is 39. Poland Spring is 42. The water is not even drinkable. I think it’s Criminal to even make profits from selling this water filled with sodium fluoride and who knows what else is in that. 500 ppm (parts per million) is the EPA Maximum but even though the FDA is corrupt their recommended is 000, which is pure.
THE ONLY BOTTLED WATER THAT READS 000 IS DUANEreade/Walgreens ‘NICE’ branded water.
PLEASE SHARE THIS INFO ALONG.- anonymous
Damn wally mart… Damn… :/
Nice bottled water tastes like shit though.
WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON WIHT HTE MILK ONE????
IS THAT PERSON SERIOUSLY ATTEMPTING TO CUT BREAD WITH A FUCKING DOORSTOP